I’ve known for a long time that I struggle with depression and anxiety. However, when I went into my new primary doctor last night, she officially put it on my record.
I’m not sure why seeing Massive Depression, or what ever she wrote down, was so hard to see on there, but it was. On the plus side, if my dad says, “I need to see it from your doctor,” I now have the evidence.
This last month has been super difficult for me. Every day I feel like I’m drowning. It’s weird though because when I’m at work I feel fine. It’s when I go home. When I go back to reality… most of the time I just go lay down feeling like the day was a complete waste. I think about the day and wonder what the point is.
Depression is such a weird feeling. It’s really hard for me to explain. Most of the time I can feel that I’m there, but at the same time I feel like I’m nothing. I don’t smile. I don’t enjoy the things I do. It’s really hard to deal with for me. I really do want to be the bubbly person that shows up at certain times, but it is so hard to keep that going when there is massive black cloud looming over you.
My doctor asked me to go on medication. I refused. I would refuse anyways, but as soon as she said my sex Drive would be affected I denied when she said those are the side effects that continue after you stop taking them. My sex Drive is already down enough. I don’t need meds to help with that.
It’s time to crank the essential oils again. Do you use them? Which ones help for your depression?
The Educator 